talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
