as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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