It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
