you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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