You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
