i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
