My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
