I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
