What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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