You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drake has all the answers
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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