Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
whose parrot is this?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
