It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
