I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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