I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My balls are so social today.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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