Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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