Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
