are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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