Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
