Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
