it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
