I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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