Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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