You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
smell my finger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
