Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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