I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
