He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
