All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
