I CAN MOONWALK!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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