i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
