she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
