dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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