yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I touched a dick in church today
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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