her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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