he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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