I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
