That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
