I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
