as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
