are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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