You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
