Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize