I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
