I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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