I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
