we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Still dying that you shit outside
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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