i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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