She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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