If i come over, it means nothing
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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