he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
