She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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