My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
