Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
