best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think I sprained my soul last night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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