is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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