you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize