that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
