dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
