dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
