My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
