Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize