yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize